Month: January 2018

I Was Suspended from College-Part 1

When everything around you seems to crumble..

I picture myself calm in the eye of the tornado, the most chaotic and disastrous place to be, yet I am at peace.

That was me at the end of my Fall 2017 term in college, but it didn’t start out that way.

In beginning of the semester, late August, I was on fire for God. He had just given me another piece to my purpose, starting this blog. I knew that once He told me that, and once I returned to my college campus, which was five hours away from home, that my faith would be tested. I just didn’t know how much..

September 22nd, around 2am is a night I will never forget. Prior to this day, I had found out that a peer of mine had just lost his mother. This entire week, I had heard the Holy Spirit tell me to be real with Him, and I was so confused, until the middle of the night on that Thursday. My mind began to whirlwind on thoughts about my own mother, who had been deceased since I was two years old. As anger and confusion began to wrestle within my chest, I began to weep and scream into my pillow.

“Why did You have to take her away? Why did You bless her with a child, then another, and rip her away from us? Why didn’t she go to the hospital sooner? I want my mom!”

This began the two-month darkness period where God began to dig up issues of mine that were poisonous to my soul: low self-esteem, negative mindset, pornography, masturbation, and people bondage. During these two months, I began to isolate myself from my friends, my Christian Campus Organization; and, more importantly, God. But, prior to this, I told my friends the signs that I wasn’t okay and the first and most obvious is isolation.

See, I had gone through this season of darkness almost every semester before (I was a Junior during this time), so I knew how the cycle went: I would get far away from God, my grades would suffer horribly, and I would begin to think very negatively and isolate myself from everything and everyone that brought me peace.

After having multiple conversations with some friends of mine, they convinced me to go back to therapy, where my counselor and I worked on cognitive therapy to retrain my negative thinking cycle. In another post, I’ll touch on the importance of prayer and counseling.

It wasn’t until the last two weeks of December that I finally broke down and cried to my cousin, telling her there was a possibility I could be suspended from the college. She then begin to tell me all of the things I knew deep down inside, but my heart was too hardened to accept:

It’s okay. God is with you. He is good, and He is good at being your Father. He has not brought you this far to leave you. Don’t worry about your mother nor your dad’s reaction. You are fine. God is good and He is with you. Keep repeating that until you believe it.

I had to force myself to sit up in my bed and grab my bible that seemed unfamiliar in my hands. It was through reading this amazing book called Uninvited by Lysa Terkeurst, and the Bible, and writing down spiritual affirmations that I could see God leading me out of the tunnel. In those two weeks, I tried my best to redeem myself in my academic career, but it was too late..

“Shamari, the SAAS denied your appeal..”

Find out in Part 2 the rest of my journey with following God in the midst of the storm!

Spiritual Affirmations for Your Mental Health

Before we go any further, I think it is vital as young women (and men) of God, we HAVE to know what the Word of God (the Bible) has to say about us. So, I will share with you some spiritual affirmations you can use in your daily life to fight against the negative thoughts and words that are used to speak against your identity in God:

(all scriptures are in the New Living Translation)

• I am God’s Child because John 1:12 says, ““But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.”

• As a disciple (follower of Jesus Christ), I am a friend of Jesus Christ because John 15:15 says, ““I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.”

• I have been JUSTIFIED and I have been declared RIGHTEOUS because Romans 5:1 says, ““Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.”

• I am united with the Lord, and I am One with Him in Spirit because 1 Corinthians 6:17 says, ““But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.”

• I have been BOUGHT with a price AND I BELONG to GOD because 1 Corinthians 6:19,20 says, ““Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.”

• I am a member of Christ’s body because 1 Corinthians 12:27 says, ““All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it.”

• I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child, because Ephesians 1:3-8 says, “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.”

• I have been REDEEMED and FORGIVEN of ALL my sins, because Colossians 1:13,14 says, ““For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins.”

• I am COMPLETE/WHOLE in Christ, because Colossians 2:9,10 says, ““For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.”

• I have DIRECT access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ (which means you can talk to Him at any given time, convinced that He actually hears and responds to You in His timing) because Hebrews 4:14-16 says, ““So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”

These affirmations are for you to go to war against the negative thoughts that fill your head. Those are not of God and now you have tools to fight against them by clinging to the word of God. He truly cares about and loves you and is concerned about your mental and emotional health. May you truly receive the TRUTH that YOU (yes, you) are truly accepted and adored by Your Abba, Father.

Looking for the Lost

God is on a mission to send out His daughters and sons, so He can work through them to find His lost children. Our Heavenly Father is calling us back to Him. We are called to be the salt and light on this Earth. He has called us for a specific time and purpose, so how can we carry it out if we’re out of position? It’s time to go back to the feet of the Father, our Father. He’s willing and waiting for us to be intimate with Him. He sent His Son to give His life so we could then become adopted into His family (Ephesians 1:3-8). He rejoices over that one lost sheep (Luke 15:1-7) and wraps us in His arms when we return to Him (Luke 15:11-32). Let’s return back to the Father immediately, and with open arms..